Girl With The Golden Hair

Part Two

Girl With The Golden Hair 

Part Two

By Rod Jones Artist-Writer

“John, I simply do not understand, I mean that from my heart.”

“ Well Colleen, I’m simply not prepared to explain, and that’s coming from my heart.”

If you read part one of this short story, you already know that John and Colleen met at a summer vacation lake in the San Bernardino mountains. After a series of dates, they decided that they would move into a cabin, where they would live together, like husband and wife. Both John and Colleen believed that by making this strong of a commitment to their relationship they would continue to grow in a positive and loving direction. That was definitely the case for both John and Colleen for an entire year.

The first year living together was filled with a lot of yes’s and no’s. About everything from the positioning of the furniture, to what they would eat, all the way up to sex. But generally speaking, they were compatible. There was no shortage of respect for each other. When they had mild disagreements, like most couples, when they first started living together, they would just resign themselves to the surefire way of reducing angst, by simply kissing and making up.

The second year of John and Colleen living together became more challenging for Colleen.

It started gradually. She felt she was having lapses in memory. On a call she had with her mother, Colleen reminisced about a childhood memory that she had when sharing a mother daughter moment, playing with dolls and the large doll house that Colleen remembered. 

“ Colleen, I don’t remember you ever having such a dollhouse, in fact, I know we didn’t have one. When you were very young, we did play together with dolls. But no dollhouse”

“Mom! I know for sure that I had that big dollhouse. I can picture it perfectly, and I can picture you and I playing together.”

“ There never was one Colleen.”

On multiple occasions, when Colleen would reminisce with her mother or friends, she discovered that they never remembered any of the times that she remembered. This condition started to persist and it was causing Colleen a great element of anguish.

Colleen saw many unusual things happen when John was around. On more than one occasion a coffee cup that was poured for John was sitting on the kitchen table. The next thing she knew, it mysteriously ended up on the other side of the room in John’s hand. She never saw John get up and move it. 

At first, she thought maybe she just wasn’t paying attention. But stranger things started to happen. He would put down his book that he was reading in his favorite chair and tell Colleen that he was heading off to bed.

“I hope you’re coming to bed soon, Colleen, I guess reading my book made me sleepy so I will kiss you good night when you come to bed.” 

“I want to do a couple things in the kitchen John and then I will be heading off to bed.”

Coleen finished up in the kitchen and went into the bedroom. She could see John under the covers and it sounded to her like he was starting his usual nightly snoring. She went into the closet, changed into her night clothes, went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and then headed towards the bed. But all of a sudden, John wasn’t there.

“John, where are you? I just saw you in bed. You were sleeping, I could hear you snoring. John, where are you? You’re scaring me.”

“Colleen, what are you doing? Why are you calling me? I went to the car to get my notebook. What were you talking about me being in bed.”

“When I came into the bedroom, you were in bed wrapped up in the sheets, I heard you snoring. I know you were there. John, what’s going on? Things are not making sense. Am I losing my mind?

“Oh come on Colleen, don’t be ridiculous. I'm tired. Let’s just go to bed. We can talk about it tomorrow.”

The faint early morning light coming through the windows woke Colleen up. She reached over towards John to give him a morning hug. He wasn’t there. She could not see him in the room and she could not hear him. She sat up in bed and called out.

“John, where are you? Why aren’t you still in bed? Where are you?”

It was perfectly quiet. Colleen pulled on her robe and went into the living room, calling out John’s name. He was nowhere to be found. She even opened the front door and called out into the yard, but again no response. Colleen was becoming panicky.

“John, where are you? Where are you?!

“Colleen, what are you doing running around? I’m still in bed. I'd like to sleep in, if you don’t mind.” 

“John, where were you? I reached over to you in bed and you were not there. I looked everywhere for you. I even looked outside. I could not find you anywhere.” 

“ Come on Colleen, I was laying right next to you. I felt you giving me a hug. I even jokingly said for you to leave me alone. I’m sleeping.”

“No, that’s not true. You were not laying next to me, you were gone. What are you trying to pull on me John? I know I’m not crazy. You were definitely not in bed with me. You were gone. Don’t lie to me. If this is some kind of joke. It’s a stupid one. You’re being a real jerk.”

John did not know exactly what to say. They got up and had breakfast. Colleen was to the point where she wasn’t talking to John at all. She was definitely angry. And then it started to happen. Colleen turned away from John at the table. When she turned back John was fading in and out. It was like he was disappearing. He would be there one minute and the next almost completely gone.

“John, what's happening to you? One minute I see you perfectly, the next minute you almost disappear. I can’t believe what I’m seeing or what I am imagining. I just don’t know what’s going on.”

“I don’t know what you’re seeing, and I don’t really understand what you’re saying Colleen. You seem very confused and not like yourself. I have to leave for a while and run some errands. I’ll be back later this afternoon. Maybe you need to rest. Get yourself back together, collect your thoughts. I don't know what you're imagining. Whatever it is, it’s not real, but I’m sure you will be OK.”

For the last few months, Colleen was witnessing anomalies in time. Thoughts and ideas she held in her mind to be true, time and time again invaded her own sense of reality. Simple things like conversations with her mother or her girlfriends, simply did not make sense. Invariably people told her that what she was remembering did not happen. It was a especially hurtful when her own mother could not honestly acknowledge Colleen’s remembrances as being remotely accurate.

“ Am I losing my mind? Everything becomes a blur. I know it’s not logical, but items in our home that I know I put in one place all of a sudden show up in a different place. Daylight outside the window all of a sudden becomes dark and then it gets light again.

And what about John? I know I love him, he’s a good man. I feel safe with him, but even he seems to disappear and reappear right before my eyes. Maybe I need to see a doctor? Maybe I need to have a serious discussion with John? Maybe John can tell me if what I’m seeing and feeling is true or am I just batty?” All these feelings were racing through Colleen’s mind.

“John, I’m so glad you came home. I need to find out something from you. I know I’ve been complaining to you that things just don’t seem right or even logical. Our relationship started out so beautifully wonderful, and you have been a very loving man. But something just isn’t right, it's becoming more pronounced every day. You seem to cleverly find ways to never address my concerns. I need you now more than ever. What’s wrong with me? What’s going on with you and me? Let’s sit down at the table, face-to-face, like the time when we first met in person. I need you to tell me the truth about my perceptions of myself and how you see me?

John reluctantly moved over to the table and pulled out his chair. He told Colleen to sit across from him. He appeared to Colleen as being overwhelmingly self-confident, but yet not committed to being totally open with her.

“OK Colleen, I guess it’s only fair that I tell you what’s going on inside your head. I had hoped that it would never come to this. You, Colleen, are not you. I know you have memories that go all the way back to your childhood. You have thousands of memories of being with your family. You have vivid memories of all of the people that you worked with or dated in your life. None of those memories ever happened, none of those people ever existed. I’m responsible for embedding those memories in your mind.”

“That sounds crazy John. I can now see my initial feelings towards you, that you were totally full of it, are now coming back to haunt me. You’re definitely crazy. I think I know my life, I know my family. I know my friends and I definitely know my history. For you to say that none of that ever existed or was even real is insanely crazy!  I mean it’s beyond crazy! I was beginning to think that I was losing my marbles, but now I can clearly see you have totally lost yours. It’s definitely time for this relationship to end.”

John patiently sat there across from Colleen and let her get it all out of her system. John expected her to act this way. He had been through this before with other women in his life. The reactions were always the same when he told them that they never were, and that they never will be real.

“OK John, I'll play your silly ass game. How can you honestly tell me that I am not real and my memories are not real? I’m sitting here, right now totally alive and right in front of you. This all feels pretty damn real to me. You are a real jerk.”

OK Colleen, perhaps I am a real jerk, but that judgment will be left to something that moves and flows through the universe. Definitely not a judgment that can be hoisted on me by non-entities.”

“ Oh brother John, what the hell is that supposed to mean? The universe? Next you will be telling me that you are one of God's chosen angels. I think you are totally mentally ill John.”

“You Colleen are what we call a non-entity. You are a conception created by the imagination, in this case by my imagination. You simply act and feel like you’re real, but you’re not. Remember where we met at the lake and the job you had. There was no job like that. There may be a lake in the mountains, but I just imagined that so I could establish you in my mind. At some point, you will fade away when I decide to let you go.”

“John, you can’t let me go. I know you may think that’s inconceivable, but guess what? Two can play that game. I have you believing that you imagined me, but guess what? Better yet, I will let you suffer for a while. You can try and come to a logical conclusion of what I just said to you.”

“Colleen, I, and I alone envisioned The Girl With The Golden Hair. You are nothing more than a manifestation that I turned into a reality. The very minute I stop you evaporate into thin air.”

“Think so, John? If you do, you will no longer have the very thing you so deeply desired. I am not what you think. The enigmatic form in the universe that you called upon to make me a living reality. The fermentations you think you magically control is leading to your downfall on the earthly plane. I am what’s known as a Clear. It’s my universal job to connect with people like you.”

“I don’t believe you Colleen. I can abolish you right here and now. There is no such thing as a Clear. If there was, I would know about it. Quite honestly, I hate to see you go. I actually fell deeply in love with you. I became heartbroken when you started to discover anomalies in your visible and invisible time. I was hoping that it, I mean our relationship would last much longer. Perhaps it’s best. It's time for me to move on and find another woman to love. This time she won’t have golden hair. It’s time for me to say goodbye to you Colleen and let you simply evaporate.” 

“I must say John, I think you were being sincere in your beliefs about loving me. Our time together was rather special and I won’t forget that. But I also won’t forget how you make women come and go in your life. It’s never based on reality; you live in a purgatory like prison. Have you ever been truly happy? I suspect not. I was sent here to terminate you. People like you and I should never exist. It’s unfortunate that we do. Your behavior has been the worst. Unfortunately, there are some who are very close to the devil and are destructive and hurt people. Hopefully they will  eventually be cleared out.”

“Colleen, if what you’re saying is true, and I have to admit you sound very rational, and your argument is compelling. What if instead of us making each other nonexistent. What if we built a happy life together? I believe it’s possible although I’ve never tried it.”

“It’s not in the cards of life John. At least not in yours. Goodbye John, it was pleasant knowing you.